A Thought from the Past

July 14, 2017

 

Went cleaning through my hard drives and found some old photos. Going through pictures from 6 or more years ago brings back crazy memories and feelings. I don't feel like I even know the person that I see in most of the photos, let alone it be me. So much has happened, so much has changed, and so many things keep changing, sometimes it feels difficult to keep up with. I don't tend to look into my past, as I am a huge believer in looking forward and ahead, not back, but the past few days my thoughts have strayed in and out of the past, and made me realize a lot of where I've gone and who I've become, like when you know you know something and then it turns out you didn't know it at all. So many lessons, so much heart ache, so many breath taking moments, our lives are filled with beauty and with pain. Our lows make it possible to fully feel our highs. Our issues are mendable. Our thoughts are able to be transformed. Our lives are able to be changed. I have made it a habit to take care of others before I care for myself, that is something I've gone looking into my past to try and make sense of. I guess you could call it soul searching, and I guess that's why going through old photos makes me see and remember my soul then and now, coming to a realization of where my soul needs to grow to nourish my future. I'm young, I get it. But I have learned early that life's painful moments are the ones that create room for growth, for change, and for strength. I know that the sadness and pain I see in myself in old photos is something I have the power to change, and I have changed.

If you're struggling with overwhelming feelings of loss and confusion, often taking a step back to our pasts and seeing how far we've come, makes the future seem a little more manageable; with all of our lessons learned, all of the tears we've cried, all of our countless smiles, our future isn't anything we haven't dealt with before.

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